30

If you haven't noticed, I'm finding life has big moments in it. Moments with meaning. I've been compelled, as of late, to make sure I experience them to the fullest and to make note of those events in some small way. I guess this blog has been a great way for me to do that. Life certainly has changed and with the rapid pace of life this past year I've found it especially important to take stock in what's happening.

So, I'm 30 now. Pretty big milestone for me. The end of my twenties. The end of youth as I have known it up to this point. Sure, I'm not "old" in the senior citizen way, but I'm older. Somehow, 30 has always been this milestone in my head. I've actually looked forward to being this age for quite some time. As 30 got nearer and became more than just an abstraction, I took some time out and thought about how I felt with that big new number looming. I found I like it. I like people who are in their 30's. They seem put together, have some experience. They're at a place in their lives where they have found some success and are building to some nice new moments in their lives. They have their shit figured out a little more than folks in their 20's. At least, that's the 30 year old people I knew. I looked forward to being in that little club of folks who are a little less college and a little more adult. Whatever those words really mean, I guess.

So, here I am. The reality, of course, is that I'm feeling not that much different than I did at 28 or 29. However, my life around me has changed a great deal. And that, I think, is where the difference lies. I listed a bunch of things down there in my last entry the other night. As the last minutes of my twenties where marching away, I sat and put a list of things that I had accomplished in my life as I was twenty. It kind of felt like the thing to do. When I look at that list, I'm amazed at the changes that have happened. Many of those changes just happened within the past two years. That's some pretty big changes.

I find, now that I'm in my 30's, that I'm married, have a child on the way and a house. The Hilden of the 20's never could have imagined himself in this position. The fact that I find myself here, that I was excited by the prospect while I was making things happen, and now sit on the other side a contented man, proves the point that I'm in that little class of folks I mentioned above. The 20's version of myself was about getting my brain around the real world. Making things happen and building a version of my life that made me content and happy. Most of that revolved around making sure the creative nature that drives me would also be the thing that paid me and allowed me to live. Looking at that list below makes me thing I've done a good job of mixing the real world and the creative world together. The task that belongs to me now is how to expand that idea and make it more successful. And to begin to add in the prospect of fatherhood as well. No small task. And it's enough to have made the 20's Hilden's head explode. Glad to know I've reached a place where it's not only able to be grasped but I'm excited by the prospect of it. Hell, I was pulling Jennifer aside in Target the other day to look at baby toys and strollers. I'm moving past the excited part and moving to full on obsession with the idea of fatherhood.

More on that later. I've stayed away from this subject on purpose.

Anyway, there are a lot of thoughts. But I must say that, in that moment of saying good-bye to 20 and welcoming 30, I did it up right. Thanks entirely to the wonderful friends and family that surrounds me. Most importantly, that wonderful woman I am blessed to call my wife. It's moments like these that prove to a person that he found the right girl to spend the rest of his life with. She knew that one of the best things that could have happened on my 30th birthday was to see my brother. She knew that it would be the most perfect thing of all. So, she surprised me and made it happen. She flew my brother from LA and I had no idea it was going to happen. I was just supposed to get a call at 1:00 and go where the caller told me. What a great phone call. What a great moment. I was on cloud nine. My brother, whom I miss and love, was here to see me and celebrate this occasion with me.

How amazing is it that I have a wife like that? It just doesn't seem like you get that lucky all the time.

And we did celebrate. Friends and family from different parts of my life where on hand to celebrate. They generously helped me hang on to a little of my childhood with a ridiculously large gift of an Xbox 360. They ate with me and laughed with me and drank with me. It's nice to have a life where you are so generously loved and made to know it. After the eating, a small collection of my dearest friends and family came to our apartment and celebrated some more. It's nice to know you've surrounded yourself with great people. That they are a part of your life and make it better and more full.

And that's really the deal with turning 30. I've lived enough life to have amassed these great blessings and turning 30 allows me to stop and soak in how good God has been. How blessed I am and how wonderful life is. And it inspires me to look forward to the next ten years and all the awesome things life will hold for me then.